Photo Credit:US Fish and Wildlife ServiceThe approaching evening use to be a time of peace and relaxation for me. After a busy day of rounds or vet work, I looked forward to evening and a quiet meal. That seems to have changed in the last year. I'm not sure if it's because my son is growing so fast or the fact that I am aging at almost the same rate.
Sundown now brings with it a sense of dread that I did not do enough to make the day worthwhile. That another one of the few days I have left, has been wasted. Did I spend enough "quality" time with my son? Did I commit it to memory? Did I move toward my goals?
I swear sometimes it feels as if I'm having an anxiety attack.
Is this new feeling of "not having accomplished enough" an approaching menopause phenomenon? Or is it just a mother watching time laugh in her face?
Since getting a good night's sleep also seems to be a pointless goal as I approach fifty, bedtime is not exactly a welcome time either. Sadness in the morning, anxiety at night, I'm in hormonal hell. My mortality is not a pretty sight!
1 comment:
See, I can't sleep well either. I tried fighting it, but that didn't work. So now I welcome the evening and pretend that tonight just MIGHT be the night I get a decent couple of hours of sleep. Sometimes I do. Most I don't, but I just push those aside and start again with the hope the next eve.
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