To Dye or not To Dye

I'm 51 years old. Just one year ago I was 50. Somewhere in that time it seems I have aged, a lot.

It's like someone pulled a plug and said that's it, time for your youth to spiral down the drain. I had some gray hair before but not so much that I appeared to be a grandmother rather than a mother of a 7 year old.

A few weeks ago I finally cut off much of my long hair, about 8 inches and brought it up to my shoulders. Now all I see is the gray. So I bought a box of hair color. It's been sitting on my bathroom counter taunting me.

I do want to have my old color back and hide some of the gray. What I don't want to do is have to maintain it. Kind of like when you first shave your legs, there's no going back. So I have to decide if I want to put one more thing on my "keep yourself up to snuff" list. Ugh!

I will confess that I let the smooth shaven legs look, go much longer between shaves than I used to. I'm not married or dating and no one else seems to care. Plus I'm can't see without my glasses on anymore to do a proper job in the shower anyway.

This whole fabulous fifties thing isn't really happening for me yet. I need to work on that.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I now know why so many 50 plus women cut their hair off short. Between the hot flashes and the strands falling out all over the floor, it does seem like a wise choice. I have always thought short hair look so freeing on women, like they are simplifying their lives and it's their own choice.

I think Jamie Lee Curtis looks so happy and comfortable with her look now and I wonder if it's time for my long locks to go. My hair is very thick, wavy and dark brown, speckled with an ever increasing amount of grey. It served me well in my youth and even in early motherhood. It made me feel like a young mother even though I was not.

Now however, I really have no time to keep up with it and a short cut seems so much more practical. I only wish we could all look as great as Jamie Lee, but alas I do not have her cheek bones. So I am now searching for ideas for a short cut that would work with an oval face and thick, slightly wavy hair.

It's time, the constant pony tail is getting old. The only thing that will be a drag, is having to get a regular trim to keep it up. I have not had a professional hair cut in about 15 years. I really feel like a makeover, all suggestions are welcome.

I Blinked and Missed It.

I have been watching this cactus for weeks waiting for it to bloom. What I didn't know was that it was a night blooming cactus! I missed the bloom!

Now I may have to wait another whole year to see it again. Nature can be so cruel! How can such beauty be only seen for one night? Not fair Mother Nature, not fair!

Finishing Sentences

Menopausal hormone fluctuations have turned me into a blithering idiot! I can't seem to finish a sentence without saying things like "you know what I mean right?" or "what's that word". I mean, I'm an intelligent woman who seems to have mysteriously lost the ability to communicate her thoughts.

I knew memory loss was a menopause symptom but I didn't realize that becoming incoherent was one as well. There are days where I'm almost stuttering to get my words out. There does seem to be an upside to this however, writing comes much easier now. The words and stories floating around in my head are endless. Writing is now the only way to get them out.

Since I also have almost no people skills anyway, it's best I don't try to speak. The dogs, cats and my son have always looked at me like I was crazy when I spoke, so nothing has changed there.

Perhaps when menopause has passed and I'm an old woman, my speech will return to normal and I can become the eccentric storyteller I was meant to be!

Got Nuts?

Like most of us, as I've gotten older I am trying to eat healthier. I suppose eating a healthy diet would have been a good idea all along, but better late than never. I'm incorporating more whole raw foods and less meat, where I can.

I also hate to go shopping, so finding an online resource is always a plus for me. If you are looking for organic, raw or hard to find nuts, dried foods, and grains, you must check out Nuts Online.com.

I found their site through a doctor whose is one of my pet sitting clients. He is a vegetarian and always has lots of wonderful looking nuts and such from Nuts Online, in his home.

They have a huge inventory, so if your not sure where to start, this page has some great sample packs.

I just placed my first order and can't wait to see what I get. I'll post again and let you know my opinion and favorites.

The Moment is Now

Do you know what children are? Children are walking, talking, neon lit living billboards glaring at you as you race down the highway of life.

Billboards that jump out at you as you pass every landmark and they yell, "Did you remember to savor that moment?, because you'll be dead soon".
Or, "Did get that last great photo?, because you'll be dead soon".

There is nothing like having a child late in life to blatantly announce your mortality to you.
I know younger mothers try to capture every moment and commit it to memory too but I doubt they feel the urgency the over forty crowd does.

I've heard it said, having a child late in life keeps you younger. I think having a child late in life can be a reminder to live every day, right now. Instead of wasting time outside the moment, creating scrapbooks we may not live long enough to savor.

Morbid? Maybe, looks like forty nine is shaping up to be that kind of year.

I Did It Myself!

Who knew it would be empowering to fix your own toilets! I have lived in this house for twenty years and I do manage to do some of the small maintenance jobs myself. I have replace the flapper and inside parts myself but when they both started leaking from below the tank, I thought I needed a plumber. I went online to see what could be wrong (mainly just so I wouldn't get ripped off) and after reading about it, decided maybe I could do it myself.

So off I went to Lowes and bought the parts. The man in the plumbing isle was very helpful and I bought two sets of tank bolts and gaskets. He also said that if the bowl itself was wobbly then the seal underneath may be leaking.

The instructions were easy enough - turn off water, flush to drain tank, remove old bolts and replace. However, it was the remove old bolts that caused a problem. The nuts were rusted tight and after an hour fighting with them, I ended up getting the hack saw. I should have done that first, they sawed in half in a blink.

After putting both tanks back on the bowls and tightening the wing nuts (whoever invented wing nuts, I love you!), there were no leaks! I did decide to check to see if the bowls wobbled and sure enough one did. Guess what? When I checked under the little caps that cover the bolts on the base of the bowl, the ones that hold the bowl down, one side had no nut and the bolt was just wiggling in the wind.

Apparently the idiots (workmen) who installed my bathroom tile, didn't think both sides of the toilet needed to be fastened to the floor when they put my toilet back in place. I was not pleased, but as that company is long out of business, I guess they got their due rewards.

I can't tell you how good it feels to have saved a ton of money and at almost forty nine years old

(birthday coming soon) learned to do something I never thought I would need to do. Take it from me ladies, if I can do it so can you! Next up, maybe I'll try some minor kitchen renovations.

A Change of Tune

When I started this blog I decided to chronicle my journey through menopause. What I have found out is that will involve a lot of whining and negativity.
So while I still intend to write about what things I have found to help or not to help throughout the process, I have decided to make this blog more about whatever I find interesting.

That may change over time and who knows where it will end up. I just know I can't keep blogging about no sleep and hot flashes. Not to mention my bitchy attitude. I'm still a women approaching fifty and I have noticed that what I find amusing or what pisses me off, changes from day to day.
At the very least, this blog will be more interesting to more people. Here's to changes of all kinds!

Sundown and Anxiety

Photo Credit:US Fish and Wildlife Service

The approaching evening use to be a time of peace and relaxation for me. After a busy day of rounds or vet work, I looked forward to evening and a quiet meal. That seems to have changed in the last year. I'm not sure if it's because my son is growing so fast or the fact that I am aging at almost the same rate.

Sundown now brings with it a sense of dread that I did not do enough to make the day worthwhile. That another one of the few days I have left, has been wasted. Did I spend enough "quality" time with my son? Did I commit it to memory? Did I move toward my goals?

I swear sometimes it feels as if I'm having an anxiety attack.

Is this new feeling of "not having accomplished enough" an approaching menopause phenomenon? Or is it just a mother watching time laugh in her face?

Since getting a good night's sleep also seems to be a pointless goal as I approach fifty, bedtime is not exactly a welcome time either. Sadness in the morning, anxiety at night, I'm in hormonal hell. My mortality is not a pretty sight!

Promtacular!

I came across a website this week that just made me laugh out loud until I was crying. Since I hardly ever do that anymore, I thought I'd share. You must go and check out Promtacular.

It's a collection of prom photo's over the decades sent in from the photo owners. I have always known that laughing at ourselves can be very cathartic and boy did this site accomplish that!

I never went to my own prom, but now I know what I was missing, lol. Really, need a chuckle? Then go check it out.

Still Hibernating

So it's 2010 and yet I feel 2009 and was somehow unfinished. I can't quite put my finger on why I feel this way. It may have something to do with the twenty five plus projects that were left unfinished or the fact that family situations that I really wanted to put a cap on, are still unresolved. The year end seemed to sneak up on me this year and then passed over without notice.

Any plans for the new year are as frozen as the ridiculous Florida cold we have been having this week. I learned something new about myself though, apparently I can't think at all if the temps drop below 50 degrees and stay there for a week! I become some kind of animal, hibernating until the thaw. Eat, sleep and stay warm is about it.

I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to discover this. I might not have wasted those many years dreaming of a farm in the country, up north. That may have worked for me when I was younger but clearly a bad plan at this age.

So now I need a new dream destination. I also need a new plan for productive retirement. Then again, maybe you just need the right clothes. I'm mean really, how much farming do you do in the winter anyway?

No More Grandma Elf

Some of you may have seen the Grandma Elf video I posted on the weekend. It was one of the Elf Yourself videos you can make. I made one with my mother's face on the disco dancing elf, and I thought it was cute. She however did not. She does not have Internet or understand blogs (she's 82) so I showed it to her when she was at my house this weekend, plus the one I made with the kittens.

I really thought she would laugh at herself dancing to disco in an elf suit. Boy was I wrong! She called me today and told me she didn't appreciate being made fun of and that the video was obscene and offensive. I was floored, I don't get it! I didn't put her head on a stripper, it's an elf for crying out loud. I was trying to include her in our holiday fun. I have one of my son doing the same dance. So I deleted it today.

Maybe she was afraid my many, many readers (three, I believe) were laughing at her. I never think of her as being from such a different generation than I, but I guess she really is. I saved a copy just for me and my son, because he thought Grandma made a cool elf, too bad she didn't think of it that way. Hope I didn't offend any other grandma's out there.

Happy Thanksgiving!

With a little rhapsody, just because it makes me happy!

Childhood Perceptions

When I was a girl, we had a large marble top dining room table. As a family we ate meals there, did our homework and a lot of crafts. I remember rolling cookie dough on the cold marble top and setting out trays and trays of cooked ones to cool. It was smooth, solid and seemed to spread out forever. I remember thinking growing up that I could build anything on it because it was huge!

I now have that same table in my dining room. As an adult, it never seems big enough for anything. It actually measures 60" x 36" and seats six people. I use this table to home school my son, to do craft projects, occasionally eat a meal and anything else I need a large flat surface for. It's still smooth as glass and very solid (it weighs a ton and needs two men to move it).

Now however, I wish it were twice a big. The same table that swallowed up anything I put on it a child, has now been dwarfed by the possessions of a adult.

I love this table, but like so many things that held special power when we were children, now that I am an adult, the table is just a table. I look around my home today and wonder what things my son perceives as awesome and powerful? Will it be the tall bookcases? The four post bed in mom's room? Or maybe that very same marble top table?

Live Longer with Peddle Power!

www.livestrong.com

Found this article from Science Daily in my email this week and was astonished. According to a new study, people with thighs less than (that's right I said less!) 60cm in circumference, have a higher risk of premature death and heart disease. Here's a snippet:

"The relationship between thigh size and early death and disease was found after taking body fat and other high risk factors (such as smoking and high cholesterol) into account. The authors therefore suggest that the risk from narrow thighs could be associated with too little muscle mass in the region. This is problematic because it may lead to low insulin sensitivity and type 2 diabetes and, in the long run, heart disease, they explain."

Well that just beats all! Here I am trying to slim down and they throw this at me. What they mean is, less than 60cm of muscular thigh circumference. So I still need to loose the fat but now I also have to add four inches of muscle! Looks bicycling needs to be in my future,

Lance Armstrong style bicycling that is!

Vintage T6 Warbird

Happy Wordless Wednesday!

She looks pretty good for an old girl!

Progesterone Update

Photo credit: www.megzytred.etsy.com

Ok, I know it's only been 4 weeks, but I think the progesterone cream I told you about is helping!

I am definitely sleeping better and I'm calmer throughout the day. My skin seems to be breaking out less this month as well.

Oh and another thing, that "dryness" issue that brings loss of libido with it, is better too.
So I think I will continue to use it and of course update you with my results.

Trying Progesterone Cream

As my menopausal symptoms are worsening, I have decided to try an over the counter natural progesterone cream. After some research and a trip to the health food store, I purchased Life-flo Progesta-Care Plus. I picked Life-flo mainly because of the applicator.

It comes in a pump bottle that automatically dispenses a measured dose, so no guessing is required. The cream is rubbed into the skin and leaves no residue. It was priced at $29.90 in my store and it's a 4oz bottle. Not sure how long the bottle will last, my guess is about a month.

I have been using it once a day for a week now, so no real results yet. I may be a bit calmer, but who knows if it's the cream or not. I will try it for a couple of months and let you know if it helps with any of my many menopausal ( you ladies all know what they are) symptoms.
*This is not a paid post.

Melatonin and The Shrew

Last week Science Daily published an article about the benefits of the hormone melatonin on aging. A laboratory in France has been studying the effects on the Greater White-toothed shrew, a small nocturnal insectivorous mammal.

I know they probably chose the shrew because of it's nocturnal behavior, but I couldn't help getting a giggle thinking that lately my "menopausal shrew" could use some taming.

Melatonin is naturally secreted by the body during the night and is responsible for helping maintain normal sleep patterns. As we age, our bodies produce less melatonin and therefore inadequate sleep can become a problem. This study found that by supplementing the shrew at the onset of maturity, the loss of circadian rhythm was delayed. According to the the study:

Melatonin is now known to play several beneficial roles. These include being an antioxidant, an anti-depressant, and helping to remediate sleep problems. The next step will be to understand the mode of action of the hormone on aging, so we can perhaps envisage its use on humans.

I have been using melatonin to help me sleep for some time and other than some strange dreams (not sure if this is just me or what?), I am pleased with the results. The nights I forget to take it, I wake up more and find it harder to fall back to sleep. So far I will attest that getting a better night's sleep does improve this shrews attitude during the day!

Extra Large Yoga Mat

I mention a few weeks ago, my plan to get more exercise. I have discovered my back is not in the best of shape, so the first thing I'm going to do is start a yoga routine to stretch and align my spine. I found this great over sized yoga mat to use.



It's 36 inches wide instead of the usual 24 and 84 inches long instead of 72. More room to move without falling off on the hard cold tile.
Now I'm searching for a good beginning yoga DVD, any suggestions welcome!