Because It's Beautiful!

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Winter Hormonal Blues

So it's halfway through February and as usual for this time of year, I've been in a deep brain fog.
What's not usual however is the lack of any drive that came along with it this year.

My fiftieth birthday is fast approaching and the hormonal changes are having a dramatic effect on my desire to tackle anything. Winter is usually depressing for me (as it is for many others) but I can normally pull myself together to create something or at least keep involved with the world.

Not this winter. I have allowed the fog to fill me completely and I'm just going with it for now.
At some point, I assume I will see some light. Right now, just thinking about planning a meal or a trip to the grocery store, is mentally exhausting.

I may just hibernate until spring or until I run out of cat litter and have to go out, whichever comes first. I know I'm in Florida and we don't really have winter but still my mind knows what season it is.

Crazy Mommy!

You know what does not help menopausal symptoms? Having your house re-sided in 90 degree heat. Listening to the hammering and the banging of wood for days on end is making me crazy!

On top of that, having my five year old son opening and closing the garage door ten times a day, to see what they are doing, is letting out the a/c and running up my electric bill.

I know it will look terrific when finished and painted, but having four strange men at my house all day, stopping me from running around in my comfy clothes, is also making me something of an ogre. I'm sure my son will agree!

I need to try and leave the house for a few hours, but they keep tripping the circuit breaker and I have to flip the switch on the box inside my house. I have no intention of leaving them alone with access to my house. So I guess I'm stuck for a while.

I may need to have a night in a "Calgon take me away " bath, but alas I have no Calgon bath beads in the house. Maybe a soak in a warm tub will still have the same effect.

Hedge Massacre

This is what happens when you let a menopausal mom loose with hedge trimmers. I had a "suddenly angry with the world " moment this week and took it out on the hedge. This was a twenty five foot long, three foot tall and four foot deep hedge!

I don't have a before photo, but this is the pile of cuttings I put out by the road. Yeah, I guess it really did need a trim anyway and I feel much better now!

A Change of Tune

When I started this blog I decided to chronicle my journey through menopause. What I have found out is that will involve a lot of whining and negativity.
So while I still intend to write about what things I have found to help or not to help throughout the process, I have decided to make this blog more about whatever I find interesting.

That may change over time and who knows where it will end up. I just know I can't keep blogging about no sleep and hot flashes. Not to mention my bitchy attitude. I'm still a women approaching fifty and I have noticed that what I find amusing or what pisses me off, changes from day to day.
At the very least, this blog will be more interesting to more people. Here's to changes of all kinds!

Mommy's Punching Bag

This is the best Christmas giftthat I ever stole from my son! I bought it for him this year so he would have something to beat up, instead of me or the furniture. He also uses it when he gets angry to work out his frustrations and calm down.

However, I have discovered that giving it a few whacks is a great way for me to de-stress too.
Plus my son thinks it's very funny to see mommy punching and mumbling under her breath. In no time at all, we are both laughing and feeling a lot better.

Best of all, so far no one has popped it. Not even the cats. It's probably only a matter of time though, so I will keep it out of their reach. I may have to eventually invest in a real one for us both.

I didn't get gloves to use with it and I don't think I will. Punching it bare fisted seems more satisfying to me. I think I should give it a name. So, does anyone have any good name ideas?

Still Hibernating

So it's 2010 and yet I feel 2009 and was somehow unfinished. I can't quite put my finger on why I feel this way. It may have something to do with the twenty five plus projects that were left unfinished or the fact that family situations that I really wanted to put a cap on, are still unresolved. The year end seemed to sneak up on me this year and then passed over without notice.

Any plans for the new year are as frozen as the ridiculous Florida cold we have been having this week. I learned something new about myself though, apparently I can't think at all if the temps drop below 50 degrees and stay there for a week! I become some kind of animal, hibernating until the thaw. Eat, sleep and stay warm is about it.

I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to discover this. I might not have wasted those many years dreaming of a farm in the country, up north. That may have worked for me when I was younger but clearly a bad plan at this age.

So now I need a new dream destination. I also need a new plan for productive retirement. Then again, maybe you just need the right clothes. I'm mean really, how much farming do you do in the winter anyway?

Happy Thanksgiving!

With a little rhapsody, just because it makes me happy!

Morning Mood

I don't know if this is a seasonal thing or just my hormones gone awry but I am so emotional in the mornings lately. From the time I wake up until after lunch sometimes, I can hardly control the sadness. I'm sure it must have something to do with hormone blood levels.

I have read that cortisol levels are highest in the mornings and this can cause anxiety. Perhaps that is what I'm feeling, more anxiety than sadness. It's like a fog has to lift before I can participate in life again. I do know that if I get outside early and do something in the garden, I feel better sooner.

I'm still using the progesterone cream and I notice on the five days a month I don't use it (per package instructions) the feelings are worse. I really want to try and control this without medication, so it's time for some more research. I know one thing that's probably not helping... that extra cup of coffee I'm having in the afternoon. It's been disrupting my sleep and may be causing some of the morning moodiness.

How to Keep a Good Pet Sitter

As you know by my profile, I'm a pet sitter. I have been doing this for a very long time, along with my vet tech work in earlier days. While I know it may be hard to find a good pet sitter, here is my tongue in cheek (not really) list of ways to keep a good pet sitter! I know this post has nothing to do with menopause other than the fact that I'm feeling bitchy today.

1. When you agreed to leave payment on the kitchen counter, don't instead leave a note saying how you were a little short on vacation spending cash, so you will "pop" the check in the mail when you get home. Chances are your sitter has budgeted that payment towards this weeks groceries for her family.


2. Don't leave without telling your sitter you recently changed the locks forcing her to use the doggy door. Of course this only works if you own a Great Dane anyway!


3. Please, please, please do not forget to mention your Uncle Billy sometimes stops by with his girlfriends to use the pool.....naked!


4. Don't forget to close the doors leading to anywhere in your home the diabetic cat can hide when it's time to get his insulin. This will result in your sitter re-arranging all the furniture in your house looking for said cat only to find he is up inside your king size bed's torn open box spring and isn't going to get his insulin at all. This will next result in a phone call to you requesting you return home as your cat will most likely not survive two weeks without his insulin.


5. Make sure to leave all sex toys in a secure spot where your dog will not find them and request a game of impromptu tug-a-war with your sitter.


6. Please inform nosy old Mrs Jones next door that it's ok for your sitter to walk around the outside of your home inspecting the premises and not to call the police (especially if she sees said sitter climbing through the doggy door).


7. During hurricane season, don't expect your sitter to put up your 35 plus shutters for no extra charge.


8. Don't asked your sitter to "as long as your here" run the vacuum.


9. Don't think your helping your sitter gain new clients by referring her to your crazy Aunt with 27 cats, 8 dogs (all Chihuahuas who pee on the floor), 4 parrots (who bite), 3 rabbits and a ferret. All of which she cooks "special" diets for. There is not enough pay in the world to make that job worth it!


10. If you arrive home early and forget to tell your sitter (who shows up at 7am), please don't ask her to join you for coffee in your underwear. Expect to be charged for the visit regardless.

Believe it or not, all these things have happen to me over the years, sometimes more than once!

Progesterone Update

Photo credit: www.megzytred.etsy.com

Ok, I know it's only been 4 weeks, but I think the progesterone cream I told you about is helping!

I am definitely sleeping better and I'm calmer throughout the day. My skin seems to be breaking out less this month as well.

Oh and another thing, that "dryness" issue that brings loss of libido with it, is better too.
So I think I will continue to use it and of course update you with my results.

Does Misery Love Company?

How many times a day does someone ask you how you are? It's a simple question, at the teller window, at the office, maybe your mother asks. Yet, do they really want to know? Even if they do, why do I always lie?

No matter what's going on in my life, I feel compelled to say "fine" or " great". Inside however, I'm screaming... today sucks! I haven't eaten, my son had three melt downs before noon, my car isn't running right and my dog is dying.

Now I know, no one really wants to hear that and I'm probably just a tad overwrought at the moment, but boy would I really like to answer that question without thinking first. Of course, I won't because I can never know what the other person is screaming inside. Then again, they say misery loves company, so maybe if I did answer truthfully, we could all just have a good cry.